thoughts on bidding adieu...

I hate goodbyes.

I always have.

One very vivid memory I have from when I was younger was when my grandma would come to visit my mom, my sister and I in our duplex for the weekend. When she would have to leave, my mom was left dealing with my sister and myself and our unstoppable tears.  I remember them being deep.  Scared that I wouldn't see her again.

Possibly this is rooted out of saying goodbye to my dad every other weekend, and then this "goodbye sickness" has only gotten worse after eventually having to say goodbye to my dad forever at the young age of 13.

When school years would end I would cry saying goodbye to my teacher, friends and bus drivers (ok, maybe not the latter!).  When sports would be coming to an end, I would tear up at the thought of each "last".  College years were the worst goodbyes ever known!!

"Wow!  Emotional!" you might think, and yep!  You're right.  My family tagged me precisely that early - but it is so hard for me to transition!

I find irony in the fact that I clearly see myself having a calling for missions in light of all the above information given.  Though I look forward toward new things that the Lord is calling me to, it really is bittersweet to see what I am leaving behind to follow my Jesus where he calls.

I'm grateful that He has been gracious in allowing me to connect and really dig my heels in where I have gone - always finding a community to be in, what grace! I know and trust that this will be so in the paths that he leads in this life He has called me to.

I find such encouragement from KissesfromKatie in her blog she keeps about her calling to Africa.  Her selflessness is such an example to me, and makes me tear up reading about her heart for Africa, because that is mine for Latin America.  As a great former RD would say, I have white skin, latino soul : )

8 days, ready or not!